Balancing Our Feminine and Masculine Energy
Enjoy this nourishing meditation that guides you out of doing mode and into BEING mode.
Last week, I led a talk and guided meditation for a co-working event at CNTRL that explored the importance of balancing our masculine and feminine energy.* If you're not familiar with this topic, it's a worthy one to investigate.
In a nutshell – regardless of our biological sex, we all have a mix of masculine and feminine energy, and we need both in our daily lives. Masculine energy is characterized by DOING and achieving and is molded by logic and reason. The feminine is more intuitive, oriented to receiving and allowing, and characterized by BEING.
When these energies are balanced, we experience a greater sense of harmony and fulfillment. When they're askew, we feel more friction and stress in everyday life.
Personally speaking, I've found this DOING/BEING balance a hard one to strike. We live in a world that values doing and achieving above all else, and honestly I have a lot of pride in being a doer. I can get shi* done and I love it. I hurtle myself into the productivity luge and I'm off to the races. Wooooeeee!!! Go me.
Sort of.
Four years out of college and into my career, I started to develop serious gut issues. I couldn't digest the foods I used to, and I had stomach cramps pretty much all the time. I was diagnosed with IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) and for the next 2+ years, I tried every elimination diet, probiotic, and food allergy test on the market to no avail. It was disheartening and uncomfortable and finally gave up on "figuring it out" and surrendered to living with the condition. Interestingly, around the same time, I began to notice correlations between my workload and my gut problems. Every time I went on vacation or to a meditation retreat, my symptoms would vastly improve. Then I started to notice improvements during weekends. Over time (I'm still sad to acknowledge how long this took) I was able to see the connection that was there all along: my tenacious productivity – my greatest source of pride and purpose – was also the source of my illness.
When I finally realized this, I knew something had to shift. I began to see that endless productivity wasn't the holy grail of life, nor the measure of my self worth. I realized that prioritizing being amidst doing is a critical part of creating a balanced, healthy life. Not just on vacation or weekends, but every single day.
Meditation is the most effective practice I've found to help me shift out of doing and relax into being. In the space of practice, I'm reminded that it's okay to allow things to unfold, instead of always directing or controlling them. I'm able to hear my intuitive voice beneath my frenetic left-brain chatter. I'm also more connected to my body and its signals. When my IBS flares up, I know I need to slow down. Now, I choose to pause and meditate (even for 5 minutes) instead of pushing through, and I feel the benefits immediately. In neuroscience terms, meditation calms our nervous system, shifting the body out of fight or flight (doing) and into rest and digest (being). This shift supports so many aspects of our health, from improved blood pressure and digestion, to boosted immunity and sound sleep.
When I nurture my feminine energy, I also discover a wellspring of creativity, beauty, joy, and power. Resources I'm able to draw from when I shift back into doing. This is a central part of my current practice – exploring how to infuse being energy into all of the doing. Instead of taking small timeouts during the day and then throttling back into the productivity grind, I'm learning to be more intentional about how I work. Is it possible to weave the benefits I see on the cushion (relaxed tension, a sense of spaciousness, awareness of my surroundings, deeper breathing, feelings of trust) into writing a blog post or drafting a budget? Can I balance both my masculine and feminine energy, so I can get a lot done while also maintaining a baseline of ease? I think so.
This balance is something I continue to explore and cultivate, and wanted to share a few tips below that support me along the way. You'll see the emphasis is on the feminine/being, since this seems to be what most of us modern folks need. (If you're seeking more masculine/doing energy, email me and I'll gladly send a few resources your way.)
Lastly, I’m learning that balancing these energies (or anything in life, for that matter) isn't something we accomplish and then check off the list. It’s a fluid and continuous process, so – trust your intuition, make lots of little adjustments as you go, remember self-compassion when you find yourself unbalanced, and perhaps most importantly, remember to have some fun!
8 Ways to Cultivate Your Feminine Energy
MEDITATE DAILY
Add a 10-20 minute meditation to your daily routine. Let your intellect take a rest while you make space to connect with your body, your natural presence, and your intuition. Click here (or scroll to the top of the page) to listen to a guided relaxation practice that invites you to shift out of doing and into being.
DANCE
Movement creates fluidity between your mind and body and shakes things up! Try dancing, stretching, or even going for a lighthearted stroll.
CHILL THE !#@% OUT
Take a bubble bath. Light some candles and slowly sip your favorite tea. Starfish on the floor and listen to soft music. Take time for you and only you. Let go of doing and simply BE.
CREATE
Express yo'self! Let go of control and forget about the end product. Grab some paints, a lump of clay, anything, and immerse yourself in the joy of making solely to express your creative energy.
SPEND TIME IN NATURE
Nature moves at a much slower and steadier pace than our rushed and frantic modern lives. It is the perfect example of a doing/being balance, and when we spend time in nature, our minds and bodies can re-attune to the natural rhythms of life. Find a park or go on a hike and relax with all of the sounds, smells and sights. See if you can appreciate all of the beauty and nourishment that nature offers.
SHARE
Sharing is where vulnerability begins. When you open up and get real, from the heart, you open doors to connect more deeply with yourself and everyone around you.
FLOW
Set aside a whole day where there's nothing on your agenda and let yourself wake up and FLOW through it. Don't plan anything, just let your body and intuition guide you to what's next, listening to what feels good.
TAKE A STRESS REDUCTION COURSE
The accredited 8-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction course is one of the most effective programs (worldwide) and helps people develop their inner resources to better manage life's stressors, find greater meaning, and live with more ease.
* The concepts of masculine and feminine energy have been around for thousands of years and are central to many wisdom traditions. They have more recently become part of our contemporary discourse (HuffPost, Elephant Journal, People Matters Global, The Law of Balance)
About the Author
Rena is co-founder of Pause, inspiring individuals and business leaders to live more present, compassionate and fulfilling lives. She brings 11 years of personal practice, a degree in business, and professional mindfulness training through the UMASS Medical School to her work as a mindfulness coach.
Rena currently teaches weekly classes and workshops at the Pause studio, works as a Mindset Instructor at Nike, and facilitates trainings for organizations across the US. She is humbled to be a part of the modern mindfulness movement and finds great hope in sharing this journey with others.